


Is Forever Enough

by DialedIn



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Sweet, learning how to be parents
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-10
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:20:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28660866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DialedIn/pseuds/DialedIn
Summary: Murphy and Emori welcome their first child into the world. Murphy finds out just what parental love really means, all while navigating his first year of parenthood.
Relationships: Emori/John Murphy (The 100)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 14





	1. Birth to 1 Month

**Author's Note:**

> This idea just came to me and I decided to run with it. I hope everyone enjoys it!
> 
> Much thanks to my lovely friend northernxstories for the editing help, support, encouragement, and general silliness.

**“Look how much the world loves you”**

Murphy had never subscribed to the theory of soulmates. The idea that someone could see a person once and know they were in love, seemed completely implausible to him. Even his initial meeting with Emori, whom he loved with all of his heart, had been tense. They had spent the first six months after meeting being openly antagonistic toward one another, before becoming grudging acquaintances and eventually (after  _ years _ ) falling in love and getting married. 

But when the squalling blood covered infant was placed on Emori’s chest, amid the shouts of “It’s a boy!” he fell completely and immediately in love at first glance. Even through the tears clouding his vision, he knew that this tiny baby, his  _ son _ , was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

He leaned down and kissed Emori’s sweaty head and whispered that he loved her and was proud of her. Then he leaned down close to the tiny stranger and whispered, “I love you so much.”

An hour and a half after the birth, which had been dramatic and terrifying and yet somehow almost the best thing he’d ever experienced, Murphy held his son for the first time. He was thrilled, of course, but also a little scared. The baby was so tiny and fragile, and Murphy’s experience with newborns was extremely limited. The only friends of theirs who were parents already were Monty and Harper, and Murphy didn’t hold their son, Jordan, until he was almost two months old.

“Just sit back in the recliner, and hold out your arms,” the nurse encouraged, “supporting his head is the most important thing. You’ll be a natural in no time.”

Murphy didn’t believe her, but he was too nervous to formulate a sarcastic reply. He focused instead on the weight and warmth of the infant as he was placed into Murphy’s arms. “Wow,’ he breathed as the tiny baby snuggled into his arms.

“Pretty incredible, right?” Emori said sleepily from the bed.

“Yeah,” Murphy answered, still completely fixated on the bundle in his arms. “We need to think up a name for him.”

“We do,” Emori agreed, watching them with a soft expression, “Any ideas?”

The name came to him immediately, “Declan.”

“I love it,” Emori told him with a smile, “and I love you.’

“I love you both,” Murphy’s voice cracked a little from the emotion and he sniffed, hoping he wouldn’t start crying.

The drive home was probably the most intense drive Murphy had taken in his thirteen years since getting his licence. When he pulled up under the hospital overhang where Emori and his son were waiting with a nurse, he took a deep breath and placed the car in park. The car seat had been checked and double checked for safe installation, the baby mirror placed so he would be able to easily see Declan’s face from the driver’s seat, and a window shade had been installed to keep the sun from being an irritant. Despite all the preparation, Murphy was still nervous. It was only a four mile drive back to their house, but a lot could happen in four miles, especially when the passenger weighed less than seven pounds and couldn’t even hold his head up on his own.

“You’ve got this, Dad,” the waiting nurse told him kindly, and he grinned at the still unfamiliar title. Jesus, he was someone’s  _ dad.  _

“Thanks,” he told her gratefully, “it’s a little overwhelming.”

“And it will be, at least for a while,” she said calmly, “but you’ll find the more longer you are a parent the less you’ll feel completely out of your element. You’ve got this. Lean on each other, and whoever else is in your support system, and you’ll do fine.”

He thanked her, and took the car seat from her before clicking it into place in the new minivan Emori had convinced him they  _ h _ a _ d  _ to have while she was pregnant.

When everyone was buckled and secure, Murphy drove off from the hospital so slowly that Emori had to ask him if he was alright. He gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his fingers started to ache, and he tried not to think of all the things that could go wrong or about the huge responsibility he had taken on.

By 9pm, Murphy was completely exhausted. There had been a steady stream of visitors during the day, and while Murphy had enjoyed watching the people he cared about most in life meet his son, he was tired of entertaining. Declan had mostly slept during the day, when he wasn’t nursing, and Murphy hadn’t really gotten the chance to hold his son the way he had wanted to. He couldn’t believe how much he already missed his son’s familiar weight.

“John, he’s done eating now,” Emori called from the living room. He finished rinsing the cup in the sink and dried his hands before returning to his family. 

“Here, let me take him,” Murphy told her softly, holding his arms out for the baby, “do you need anything?”

“No,” she winced then as she shifted position, “I’m going to take some pain pills, and go clean up. Will you rock him and then bring him in so we can get ready for bed?”

Murphy nodded, and nestled Declan close to his chest. “If you do need something just let me know.”

Emori nodded and rose to her feet with a pained expression. He hated seeing her so uncomfortable and wanted to more than anything to help her through her recovery.

He shushed to Declan as he walked slowly down the hallway to the nursery that he had been working on for five months. They had decided on a space theme, and Emori had collected decorative signs and other space paraphernalia for weeks. Murphy had painted and rearranged and put together furniture until the room had been completed and filled with all the necessities a newborn baby would need.

“Come on, little man, let’s get this diaper changed,” Murphy whispered as he laid Declan on the changing table and got to work. 

When he got back to the master bedroom, Emori was already under the covers on her side of the bed, scrolling through her phone. She brightened when Murphy walked into the room.

“How’d he do?”

“He pooped,” Murphy told her, “again. His ability to fill a diaper is pretty impressive already.”

Emori laughed and put her phone down on the nightstand. “Is he ready for bed?”

“I hope so,” Murphy told her, yawning, “I changed his sleeper, and swaddled him in that swaddle sack we got. So now I guess I just lay him down?”

“Remember they said on his back,” Emori said, her voice rising slightly with anxiety.

Murphy nodded, and laid Declan down gently in the bassinet. The baby stirred but quickly relaxed back into sleep and Murphy let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. 

It seemed like he had just fallen asleep when Murphy was jerked awake by a baby’s cry. He felt Emori stir beside him, and he touched her shoulder, “I’ve got him, stay there. I’ll bring him to you to eat.”

She murmured her agreement and relaxed back into the bed. 

Murphy tried to rub his eyes to get them to focus. He was so tired that he felt like he was drunk, or maybe he was just having an out of body experience. He was confident he had never been this tired before in his life.

“Come here, Declan,” Murphy cooed to the baby who was red faced and angry, “Let’s go check your diaper and let momma sleep.”

Murphy brought a freshly diapered Declan back to Emori so she could nurse him. He sat next to Emori on the bed and tried his best to support her as she made sure the latch was correct and their son was actually getting the milk he needed, telling her jokes and talking to her so neither of them would fall asleep. 

Twenty minutes after he fell asleep at Emori’s breast, a trickle of milk running down the side of his cheek, Murphy gathered his son up again and carried him over to the bassinet. As soon as he laid the baby down though, Declan started screaming. 

“Uh, what do I do?” The tiredness was doing all sorts of weird things to his rational thinking abilities.

Emori looked just as tired and unsure. But she also looked like she was hurting, and Murphy didn’t want her to do any more than she had to.

“Nevermind, I got him,” he decided immediately, “Go back to sleep, ‘mori. I love you.”

“Love you too,” she murmured, and then soft snores filled the room.

Murphy picked up his son, nestling him against his shoulder. “Guess it’s just us guys.”

Twenty minutes after they had left the bedroom Declan was still crying, and Murphy felt like he was about to start crying right along with the newborn. They had bounced, they had walked, they had even danced for two seconds before Declan spit up all over Murphy’s shirt. 

“I don’t know what you want, little man,” Murphy said, trying to ignore the slight tinge of desperation in his voice, “can you give me a hint.”

Declan cried even louder, jerking his little fists around his face in a show of pure fury. Murphy would have been impressed with the baby’s strength, if he wasn’t so damned tired. 

Finally, at his wits end, Murphy sat in the recliner and placed Declan on his chest. He continued to cry and kick his little legs madly, and Murphy shushed and shushed before getting desperate and beginning to hum a song his mother used to sing to him, back before his father’s death and the alcohol had taken her away from him.

Within seconds of Murphy beginning to hum, Declan’s ferocity waned ever so slightly. Bolstered by this, Murphy began to sing, ignoring how out of tune he was, “Hush a bye, don’t you cry, go to sleep little baby.”

Miraculously, Declan began to quiet, his cries of outrage turning into hiccups and whimpers. He turned his head, and began to nestle into Murphy’s embrace.

“When you wake, you shall have all the pretty little horses.” Murphy grew more confident in his own voice the more he sang, and the more content Declan grew. When his son turned, opened his eyes, and looked so intently at him that it was as if he was reassuring him, Murphy’s singing faltered for a moment, and he felt awash with a wave of love. 

When Declan turned one week old, Murphy celebrated by bringing home a bottle of sparkling grape juice, and a bouquet of flowers for Emori. He walked into the house and went right to the living room where he knew Emori and Declan would be. Hopefully the nursing session was finished, because Murphy had been waiting all day to kiss his son’s downy dark hair and inhale his sweet unique baby smell.

“Daddy’s home,” Emori cooed, when Murphy walked in the room.

Murphy held his hands out for Declan, instantly snuggling his son against his chest. “I missed you, buddy,” Murphy murmured against Declan’s head, “were you good for momma?”

Emori had stood up from the chair, and stretched with a groan. “Of course he was a good boy,” she told Murphy with a grin, “he’s absolutely perfect. Do you mind hanging on to him so I can grab a shower?”

Murphy gave her a look and held Declan closer, “Yes, of course. I’m here now. Go do what you need, take a shower, a nap, whatever you need. We’re fine, aren’t we buddy?”

Declan looked up with unfocused dark blue eyes, and Murphy swore he smiled, just for a second.

“Ready for a bath, buddy?” Murphy asked Declan.

“He looks unimpressed,” Emori noted, as she gathered towels and soaps and other bath supplies.

“Yeah, I just hope this bath goes better than the first one did,” Murphy shuddered, then looked at the baby in his arms, “I still can’t believe you pooped in the bath water.”

“Alright, come to momma,” Emori held her hands out to Murphy and gathered Declan up. “Let’s lay you down here, and we will get you all cleaned off.”

They had set out several towels on the countertop next to the kitchen sink. Since Declan’s umbilical stump hadn’t fallen off yet (Murphy still shuddered when he thought of a decaying piece of flesh hanging off his kid’s belly button) he still wasn’t able to be fully submerged in a bathtub. Sponge baths had become the norm, and Murphy was proud to say that both he and Emori were becoming increasingly proficient and streamlined in their baby bathing process.

Emori laid Declan down on the pile of towels, and took the wet washcloth that Murphy handed her. Gently she squeezed water out over Declan’s skin, and Murphy laughed at the little faces he made.

“You like that, little guy?” Murphy asked.

“So far, so good,” Emori observed and started rubbing soap into Declan’s hair.

After the bath was finished and Declan was dressed in a fuzzy sleeper that featured romping woodland creatures, Murphy sat in what had become his favorite recliner and held his son close. He whispered nonsense to the baby, talking about how his day had been at work teaching at a culinary school, how the weather was, about the biggest news stories, and enjoyed every quiet minute with his son. 

Everyone always told him that time would pass so much faster once he became a parent, and he could understand it now in a way he never could have before. He hated having to go to work each day, because it felt like when he came home that Declan was always different, and how had he changed so much in just twelve hours? So instead of contemplating the accelerated growth of newborns, Murphy soaked in every baby snuggle he could manage.

“Whoa,” Murphy whistled when he came home to a fully prepared dinner plated on the dining room table, lit candlesticks placed in between the serving dishes, “What did I do to deserve this treat?”

Emori appeared then, in a beautiful short sleeved wrap dress that flowed just past her knees and gently hugged all of her new curves of which Murphy was very much a fan. 

Murphy couldn’t formulate words, instead simply staring in delight at his beautiful wife, and thinking that the royal blue of the dress stood out nicely against her dark hair.

Emori smiled and turned slowly, letting him appreciate the dress from every angle.

“Holy shit, Emori,” Murphy exhaled, rushing over to gather her up in his arms, “I’ll ask again, what did I do to deserve this?”

She kissed him then, slowly and sweetly but with an underlying edge of passion that made certain parts of his body take attention. It had been a while since they’d really been able to spend any time enjoying each other physically, and while he didn’t mind or complain, he had missed her.

Murphy lost himself in the kiss then, his right hand roaming down to rest on her hip just above her ass, while his other tangled in her hair. He drew her closer then and enjoyed the feeling of her body against his.

After they finally separated, Emori grinned at him, and breathlessly answered, “You deserve this, John, because you have been an amazing father to our son as well as an amazing husband to me. I wanted to do something for you to show you our appreciation.”

Murphy was touched, really, but he didn’t feel like he deserved any special treatment for what he did, given that it was what he should have been doing all along. “Well, I guess I should thank you then,” he told her and then kissed her again, a little softer this time. 

“Bellamy and Echo are babysitting for us,” Emori told him, “so we don’t have a ton of time. I nursed him before he left but you know how that goes. But we should at least be able to enjoy a good dinner without having to get interrupted.”

“Sounds delightful,” Murphy answered softly, “thank you for all, really. I love you, and Declan, and I wouldn’t trade all of this for the world.”

Bellamy and Echo showed up thirty minutes after dinner had ended with a very unhappy Declan. 

“Bellamy thinks we’re ready for a baby, even though I keep saying we should wait,” Echo told them as she handed Declan to Emori, “so thanks for lending the best birth control on the planet. I’m pretty sure he’s changed his mind,”

“Don’t listen to her,” Murphy said, placing his hands over Declan’s ears, “you’re absolutely perfect.”

“Emori, he will be fine without you, I promise,” Murphy persuaded, holding Declan so that he was facing Emori, “you haven’t had a day out with your friends since he was born. He’s three weeks old now, and more than old enough to spend a little time here while you go out. Plus I’ve got the pumped milk and the books all say to help get them used to taking it from a bottle, it should be done while you’re not here.”

“I know, in theory,” Emori said with a little sniffle, “but what if he  _ needs _ me?”

“I can handle his needs while you’re gone,” he reassured her, placing a kiss on her forehead, “I know you know that. Just like I know you are desperate for brunch with the girls.”

Emori groaned at the mention of brunch, “Mmmm that does sound good.”

“It’ll be great,” Murphy told her, “and we will be great too. Now, go forth and brunch. Plus, it’s a good excuse to have a guys day and get some father and son bonding time.”

Emori brightened, “You’re right. Of course you are. Okay, you’ve convinced me. But you’ll call if you need anything, right?”

“Yes, dear.”

The truth was that Murphy was slightly nervous to be completely alone with Declan, especially given his lack of goods in the boob department. As nervous as he was though, he was also a little thrilled to be able to spend some quality time with his son. Every day that they spent time together, Murphy bonded with Declan a little more. 

In the end, Murphy decided to spend the time with an impromptu dance party, and that’s how Emori found her two boys when she arrived home from brunch. Murphy was shuffling around the kitchen, Declan cuddled to this chest, swaying to the music pouring from the speakers.

Emori stopped in the doorway to admire the view, and when Murphy noticed her he startled slightly before smiling.

“Guess what,” Murphy called out to her.

“With you there’s no telling,” Emori answered with a smirk.

“I’m pretty sure his favorite music is ska,” Murphy told her as he punched something in on his phone, “here watch.” Punchy upbeat music spilled from the speakers, and as Murphy spun Declan around the kitchen it actually looked like the baby was enjoying the beat as he waved his fists and tried to coordinate a smile.

“You’re just desperate for someone else in this family to listen to that noise you call music,” Emori told him with a laugh, “but you two dancing however is an image I could stand to see again and again.”


	2. 1 Month to 2 Month

“What are you looking for?” Murphy’s coworker, Roan laughed as Murphy checked the screen of his phone for the eighth time in fifteen minutes.

“What?” Murphy said distractedly, picking up his phone and staring at the notification-less screen. Again. 

“Your phone,” Roan said, motioning to Murphy’s hand, “you keep checking it.”

“Oh, yeah,” Murphy said, slightly embarrassed he had been called out by this coworker, “sorry, it’s Declan, my son. Today is his one month well baby check up, and I’m waiting to hear how he’s doing. I had to work and we didn’t both need to be there, so I’m waiting for the update.”

Roan nodded, having already lost interest in the conversation at the mention of the baby. 

Before Murphy could say anything else, his phone beeped in his hand and he rushed to open the text message window. 

_ Checkup done. He’s 10 pounds, 2 ounces, and 21.5 inches now. Dr is happy with his growth. He has a clogged tear duct, but she said he will grow out of it. We love you, go back to work and quit obsessing over checking the phone. _

Murphy scoffed a little at being called out by his wife, clearly she knew him too well. But he pocketed his phone and went back to work, undeniably relieved that Declan was healthy and developing the way he was supposed to.

“Can you take him for a little bit?” Emori asked as soon as Murphy had walked in the door from work.

“Of course,” Murphy told her, dropping the bag he held and reaching for the screaming infant, “come here, big guy, what’s wrong?”

“No idea,” Emori said, looking markedly more stressed than normal, “he’s had a rough day.”

“Come here, little man, let’s get you settled,” Murphy cooed, bouncing Declan a little before settling the baby against his shoulder.

“Thank you so much, John,” Emori sighed, already looking less overwhelmed.

“Emori,” Murphy chided, “you don’t have to thank me. Go rest, take a break. I’ve got him.”

Emori didn’t say anything else, just turned and walked back toward their bedroom. Murphy couldn’t miss the fact that her eyes shone a little with unshed tears. He worried about how she was feeling, and hoped he could get Declan down soon so he and Emori could spend a little time together.

“Why are you giving your momma such a hard time, little man? You’re supposed to be nice to her, you know she went through a lot to get you here safe and sound,” Murphy murmured to his son who had finally stopped screaming and was making cooing baby noises. Before Murphy could say another word Declan made a series of disconcerting noises and then what was unmistakably the sound of him filling his diaper. “Shit, dude,” Murphy cried with alarm, “that sounded like a grown man shit! Jesus, let’s go deal with that. Damn.” Declan cooed again in response, seemingly unperturbed by his current predicament.

When Murphy got Declan undressed and surveyed the damage he decided the best course of action was simply to give Declan a bath. “You’re nasty, dude,” Murphy said in a voice that was slightly more baby talk than he ever thought he would hear from himself.

But then Declan smiled, an honest to goodness smile, and Murphy decided that baby talking to a baby made a ton of sense anyway, and who cared what anyone thought. 

When Emori’s maternity leave was over, Murphy wasn’t really sure what he expected. Emori loved her job as a pediatric speech therapist, and had talked throughout the pregnancy about how she would be returning to work as soon as she could. However as Emori had now realized, going back to work in theory after having a baby was a lot easier than actually going back once said baby was born.

Murphy supported her decision as well as he could, but there was only so much he could do to reassure her that going back to work was the best thing for their family and the Declan would be okay with both parents working. There had been a frenzy of pumping and storing breastmilk, getting Declan trained to take a bottle, and preparing Declan to start at a nearby day care they had found, and by the time Emori’s first day of work had arrived Murphy knew they would be fine.

Knowing they would be fine and were making the right decision and actually dropping his tiny helpless infant son off in the company of perfect strangers (even though they had met the day care providers numerous times) were two very different things. 

Murphy woke up early the day that Declan started daycare so that Emori could focus on getting herself ready while Murphy focused on the baby. Murphy changed Declan’s diaper and changed him into an outfit that proclaimed  _ mommy thinks I’m out of this world  _ and featured planets and stars, which Murphy thought was appropriate and adorable. Once Declan was dressed and watching from his infant swing, Murphy gathered bottles and extra diapers and Declan’s favorite blanket and began packing the diaper bag. 

“You ready for your first day of school, big guy?” Murphy said to Declan who was watching with relatively little interest. “You’re gonna do great, just make good decisions and stay out of trouble. At least until you are not the smallest and newest kid on the block.” 

Emori rushed into the kitchen then, looking stressed and a little tearful. Murphy held an arm out to stop her as she walked by him, and whispered, “Come here.” When she collapsed in his arms and her tears began to fall, he held her and reassured her. 

It was surprisingly difficult to drop Declan off at the daycare. Murphy and Emori had, of course, spent months researching and interviewing potential daycares and childcare providers before settling on this particular facility. It had come highly recommended, was affordable, staffed by well trained people, and had appropriate security measures.

Feeling comfortable with a researched decision and leaving his child in the care of people he didn’t know were not the same thing at all it turned out.

When Murphy parked his car in front of the building and got Declan’s car seat out he found he had to take a deep breath to quell the nausea rising in his throat. Fortunately, today was a short teaching day, and Murphy would be able to pick Declan up earlier than on a normal day. However, he still had to get through the whole drop off thing.

He buzzed into the locked front door with his shiny new parent key card and made his way to the infant room where Declan would be staying. When he got to the room, the kind looking woman in charge of the babies came to greet him.

“Hi! My name is Maya Vie, but I go by Miss Maya here at the daycare. Is this Declan? I heard we had a new friend joining us today.” The woman (although she didn’t look much older than eighteen to Murphy) smiled brightly and held her hand out for Declan’s bag.

“Yeah, this is Declan and it’s his first day here,” Murphy answered, awkwardly standing and still clutching his son to his chest.

“Well, don’t you worry,” Maya told Murphy with a sweet smile, “It’s always hard for parents to leave them on the first day. But I promise you he will be fine, and so will you.”

Logically Murphy knew she was right, but it didn’t make it any easier to hand his son over and leave the building. He sat in his car in the parking lot for ten minutes looking at Declan’s pictures on his phone before he finally left for work.

Emori came home from her first day back to work exhausted and emotional. Murphy was sitting in his recliner, holding Declan to his chest while he half watched reruns of old comedy shows, when Emori came in the door.

“Hey, how was your-” Murphy looked up as Emori walked up and scooped Declan right out of his arms. “He missed you,” Murphy told her as she was cuddled their son to her chest, tears collecting in her eyes, “we both missed you.”

Emori took a deep shuddering breath, and kissed Declan’s head. Murphy could tell she was inhaling Declan’s baby smell, and he stood up from the chair to walk over and put his arms around both of them.

“You did good, ‘Mori,” he whispered in her hair, “I’m glad you’re home.”

“Me too,” Emori said, and looked up at Murphy, “how did his first day go?”

“He did great,” Murphy told her, his chest squeezing at the emotion he felt when he watched his wife and their son. He didn’t think he would ever get tired of this. “Maya, his daycare teacher, said he took a good nap today and he took all of his bottles with no problem. She said his favorite part of that day was when they had music.”

Emori snorted, “He does like his music, doesn’t he?

“I don’t know where he got that from,” Murphy laughed, “but I love that he does.”

“Any dinner ideas?” Emori asked, and she leaned forward to press a quick kiss to Murphy’s lips.

“I’ve got dinner in the crockpot,” Murphy answered, walking towards the kitchen, “it should be ready. You hungry?”

“Starved,” Emori answered and she sat down with Declan nestled to her, “I’m going to feed him, and then I’ll get my food.”

“Sounds good, I’ll get your plate ready,” Murphy told her. He stopped and smiled as Emori started feeding Declan, thanking whoever was listening that this was his life.

Emori had gone to bed early after dinner, working again after weeks of maternity leave and no reliable sleep at night had left her drained. Knowing she was going to have to nurse Declan when he woke up, Murphy volunteered to hang out with Declan so she could get as much sleep as possible. 

“Say goodnight to mama,” Murphy said as he held Declan up. 

“Goodnight, baby,” Emori said with a little wave as she shuffled down the hall.

When Murphy heard the bedroom door click shut, he turned Declan so that the baby was reclined against Murphy’s lap and reached for the remote to look for something to watch on the TV. “What do you think we should watch tonight, buddy? Something funny or scary?”

Declan gurgled in response and jerked his little arms. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Murphy said with a smile, kissing the top of Declan’s head, “your mama would probably kill me if I watched something scary with you, wouldn’t she?” 

Murphy settled on an old comedy and began narrating the movie out loud. 

When Declan fell asleep twenty minutes later, Murphy carefully repositioned the sleeping baby in his arms. Before he was able to stand up, Murphy caught sight of his son’s sleeping face and stopped completely. Murphy watched entranced as Declan’s eyes fluttered and little smiles and grimaces flashed across his face, even though he was fast asleep. “Cool, but creepy, little dude,” Murphy whispered, before he got up and put Declan to bed in his crib.

When Declan was seven weeks old, Murphy came home from work to find his son naked on a folded towel in the middle of the living room floor at Emori’s feet. “What’s up with this?” Murphy asked motioning to Declan as he sat down next to Emori on the couch. He pressed a kiss to her temple, and returned his attention to his son.

“Tummy time,” Emori responded, as she scrolled through her phone.

“Well, yeah, I figured that,” Murphy responded with a laugh, “since he’s laying on his stomach. I was more referring to the fact that he’s totally naked. Where’s his diaper?”

Emori put her phone down and laughed. “He’s starting to get a little bit of a rash, Harper told me that spending some time out of his diaper will help dry the skin.”

Murphy nodded, “Seems solid enough. You enjoying the commando life, little man?”

Declan raised his head and gurgled as if he agreed completely.

“John? What’s this?” Emori asked when she walked in the door after work on Friday afternoon.

Murphy was sitting at the dining room table, two suitcases ready and waiting at his feet and a smile on his face. “This is a vacation,” he told her, “hand me Declan and get yourself ready. We leave in twenty minutes.”

Emori stood and stared at him in confusion. “Leave? What do you mean vacation?”

Murphy stood up and held his hands out for Declan who gave a gurgle and tried to focus on his face. “I mean exactly what I said. Vacation, twenty minutes. Everything is packed and ready to go.”

After a few seconds of indecision, Emori finally put her keys and purse down and headed towards the bedroom. “It won’t take me long,” she called as she walked down the hallway, “I love you!”

“Love you too,” Murphy replied and then looked at Declan, “now let’s get you ready, buddy. You have a big weekend coming up.”

Thirty minutes later, Murphy was behind the wheel as Emori practically vibrated with excitement in the passenger seat.

“So when are you going to tell me where we are going?”

“Maybe I want it to be a complete surprise,” Murphy grinned at her and turned his focus back to the road. 

Emori scoffed at him, and turned around to check on Declan. “What do you think, baby? Did Daddy tell you where he’s taking us?”

“Daddy didn’t give anything away,” Murphy grinned as he caught Emori’s eye. The vacation was already proving to be a brilliant idea, if the bright smile on Emori’s face was any indication. Murphy knew it had been tough on her to go back to work, to leave her baby at daycare, to struggle with her changing body, and he wanted to do something special for her. When he looked at Emori as they drove, sitting in the car with her hair thrown haphazardly up in a bun and wearing comfortable leggings and an old sweatshirt, he felt like he was the luckiest man in the world. And he wanted her to know, every day of her life, how much she meant to him.

After an hour in the car, Murphy signaled and exited the interstate. Emori leaned forward with interest and read the sign. “The beach?” she asked with excitement, “You’re taking us to the beach?”

“Happy long weekend,” Murphy grinned as he maneuvered the car off the exit ramp and turned at a traffic light.

Emori let out a squeal and squeezed his leg, “This is the best surprise, John! I needed a beach trip so bad.”

He knew, and he would do anything to make her smile.

After they checked into their hotel room and unloaded the car, Murphy suggested they hit the beach immediately.

“John, we just got here,” Emori said as she unzipped the suitcase and started unpacking.

“We don’t have to spend a lot of time out there,” Murphy answered. He unbuckled Declan from his car seat and turned to Emori. It’s only our son’s first time on the beach once.”

“Can’t deny that logic,” Emori agreed, “let me at least change my clothes.”

“Sounds like a plan, we’ll be ready when you are.”

Emori disappeared into the hotel’s bathroom, and returned a few minutes later, now wearing a light blue sundress. “Do you need anything before we go?”

“No, I’m good,” Murphy told her, “I just need you to help me get him in this contraption.” He held out the infant carrier they had got as a baby shower gift but hadn’t used yet. Murphy had figured it would be useful to situations like the beach, where they wanted to be hands free but the terrain wasn’t agreeable for a stroller.

Emori laughed and took the carrier from Murphy’s hand. “Lucky for you, I watched a few videos the other day,” she laughed, “are you planning to wear him?”

Murphy fixed her with a look of amusement, “Of course I’m going to carry him, I’ve been waiting for weeks to try this thing out.”

Emori messed with buckles and adjusted straps until the baby carrier was attached to Murphy’s chest and seemed to fit. “Are you ready for him now?”

Murphy held his hands out, “Yeah I think so, let’s try it out.”

It took a few minutes of playing with positioning, but eventually Declan was situated in the carrier, snuggled up to Murphy’s chest.

“I think he likes it,” Murphy bent his head down and kissed Declan on his head, “and it’s actually pretty comfortable. I could get used to this thing.”

Emori was looking him up and down, a slightly hungry look in her eyes. “I could definitely get used to it.”

“Have I reached hot dad status yet?” Murphy teased.

“Absolutely,” Emori answered with absolute seriousness, before she stepped forward and kissed his mouth softly. “I loved you before, and I love you even more now, John Murphy.”

They walked down to the beach hand in hand. It was a pleasantly warm day, even though the sun was beginning to set. When they got the water’s edge they stood together and looked out across the ocean. 

“I always forget how amazing it feels to stand here,” Emori said softly, “a reminder that there’s something bigger than us.”

“Good surprise?” Murphy asked as he placed an arm around her.

“Best surprise,” Emori told him and leaned into his embrace.

Murphy started undoing the straps on the baby carrier, and he pulled Declan out. “Let’s see what you think of all this water, buddy,” Murphy said and leaned down towards the water.

“John what are you doing?”

“Letting him feel the sand and the water,” Murphy told her, “he can’t have his first trip to the beach without at least dipping his toes in the water.”

It was quickly apparent that Declan wasn’t a fan of the beach. As soon as his toes touched the water he screwed his face up and started to cry, drawing his legs up in an attempt to keep out of the water. Murphy and Emori laughed at his reaction but quickly replaced Declan in his carrier. 

“Hopefully he will outgrow his dislike of the ocean,” Murphy laughed once Declan was situated and no longer crying. “Ready for dinner?”

“Definitely,” Emori answered, “and don’t worry, he’s got plenty of time to learn to love the beach.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, so many thanks for northernxstories for being the best beta and friend I could ask for.


	3. 2 months to 3 months

“Do you have everything you need?” Emori asked as she frantically rushed around the kitchen shoving things into Declan’s diaper bag.

“Yes, dear,” Murphy said dryly from his place at the kitchen table. “You do realize I have taken Declan out by myself before, right? This isn’t my first rodeo.”

Emori stopped in her tracks and turned to face him, clutching an extra outfit in her hands. “I’m sorry, John,” Emori said, “I just -”

Murphy stood up and walked over to her before wrapping his arms around her. “I get it,” he soothed, rubbing her back, “this is a big day for him, and you want to be there. I’ll send tons of updates, I promise.”

Emori sniffled slightly and nodded her head, “Thanks. I know you will. It’s just that this is his two month appointment. His first shots. What kind of mother am I for missing it?”

Murphy pulled back and looked at Emori sternly, “The kind of mother who has a full time job in addition to an awesome baby. It sucks that we both have to work, but it’s the reality. And Declan will have me there to help him out. I’ll text you the entire time, I promise.” He kissed her softly on the mouth then. “I love you, it’s going to be okay.”

Emori nodded firmly, “You’re right, I’m sorry. Stupid hormones.”

“There’s nothing stupid about your feelings,” Murphy reassured her, “I love you, we’ve got this.”

“I love you too.”

Declan chose that moment to let out a series of squawks over the baby monitor, alerting his parents that he was awake and ready to be rescued from his crib. 

“I’ll grab him,” Emori said, “finish getting his bag ready. I’ll bring him out when he’s done eating and dressed.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Murphy nodded. He stood and watched her walk out of the kitchen, heart full of love for his family.

Emori rushed out of the house only a few minutes later than she intended, and Murphy finished double checking the diaper bag. “For such a small human, you sure do require a ton of stuff, buddy,” Murphy said with a laugh. Declan was sitting happily in his baby swing, cooing at the tiny animals suspended above his head, and Murphy couldn’t help but smile softly at his son.

Declan had firmly discovered his voice in the last week, and both Murphy and Emori never got tired of watching Declan learn how to begin communicating in ways that were not screaming. The little coos and gurgles combined with his still jerky and uncoordinated gross body movements were pretty much the cutest thing Murphy had ever seen, and he didn’t care who knew it.

“Alright, Declan, it’s time to get in your car seat and go see the doctor. If we don’t leave in the next few minutes we are so going to be late, and I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Ten minutes later, Murphy had packed Declan and approximately fifteen pounds of baby crap into the van. He situated himself in the driver’s seat, checked to make sure he remembered exactly how to get to the office, and pulled out of the garage. 

It was not much of a drive to the doctor’s office fortunately and within fifteen minutes Murphy was walking into the office’s waiting room, Declan’s carseat in one arm and the overstuffed diaper bag on his other shoulder.

Murphy had barely taken a seat when the nurse opened the waiting room door and called out Declan’s name. Murphy followed the nurse to a room where Declan was weighed and measured (he was now 12 pounds seven ounces, and twenty-four inches long) and then the nurse brought Murphy and Declan to another room where she asked a series of questions about Declan’s development. Finally she told Murphy the doctor would be in to see them soon, and she left the room.

Declan was luckily in a good mood, and was content to sit in Murphy’s arms as they waited for the pediatrician to come to the room. After about ten minutes of looking at the same colorful mural on the wall of the exam room, a kind looking man knocked and entered. He looked to be older than Murphy, but not by many years and he wore a white lab coat complete with a stethoscope around his neck.

“Good morning,” the dark haired man greeted as he entered, “I’m Dr, Jackson, and I assume this little guy is Declan?”

Murphy couldn’t help the way his chest puffed up with pride when it came to introducing his son. “Yes, this is Declan, and I’m John Murphy.”

The two men shook hands cordially, and then Dr. Jackson sat down at the desk and opened the small laptop he carried. “Alright, I pulled up Declan’s growth charts and he is right on schedule for his age. Any problems or concerns with his eating?” When Murphy shook his head no, Dr. Jackson continued, “and is he breast or bottle fed?”

“Breast,” Murphy answered, “well we give him pumped milk in bottles when my wife is working.”

Dr. Jackson smiled, “That still counts as breast milk. Babies need either breast milk or formula as their primary form of nutrition until a year, and their only form until close to six months. We don’t recommend feeding any baby food until around six months, but it seems like he is gaining weight appropriately.”

“He loves his milk, that’s for sure,” Murphy said with a grin, “no problems there.”

Dr. Jackson smiled and ran through a list of developmental milestones much like the nurse had done earlier, and Murphy was happy that Declan seemed to be doing everything as he was supposed to.

“Alright, everything checks out well,” Dr. Jackson said with a smile, “the only thing we have to do now is his vaccinations.”

Murphy had almost forgotten about that part, and the realization that his baby was about to be stuck with needles felt like a punch in his gut.

Dr. Jackson smiled, not unkindly, at the slightly green look on Murphy’s face and quickly reassured him, “He’s going to be fine, most kids have little to no reaction after vaccinations. It’s generally harder on the parents, I find.”

Murphy wanted to scoff at that, of course it was hell on the parents, but he was too nervous right now to even find it in him to be sarcastic.

“He’s going to get three different shots as well as an oral vaccination,” Dr. Jackson continued, “all of which will protect him from several different diseases.”

“Three shots?” Murphy felt even worse, and looked at Declan who was happily laying on the examination table. “Sorry buddy,” he whispered to his son, and nodded at the doctor.

“The nurse will be in shortly to give the shots,” Dr. Jackson said with a smile, “and then you are both free to go. I’ll need to see him back in the office at four months. Wonderful to meet you, and it was great to see Declan again.” 

Murphy nodded again and Dr Jackson gathered his computer and then it was just Murphy and Declan waiting on a nurse with a collection of needles. “I really hope you don’t hate me after today, little man,” Murphy said with a sigh.

By the time the nurse bustled into the room several minutes later, Murphy was edgy with anticipation.

“Hi, Dad,” the nurse said brightly. She carried a small metal tray which held three syringes. “I’m going to have you just lay him on the table, and I need you to help hold him still. The injections are going to go in his thighs. He’s going to get one in one leg and two in the other.”

Murphy nodded in a subdued manner, and held Declan as the nurse gave him the oral vaccination first. Declan gave no objection, and looked up at Murphy with trusting eyes. “Way to really rub the guilt in, buddy,” Murphy said quietly.

“You ready?” The nurse asked, and although Murphy didn’t think he would ever be ready he nodded anyway.

All in all, the nurse worked so fast that the injections were given before Murphy or Declan could even fully realize what was going on.

But when Declan screwed up his face and howled in absolute outrage Murphy felt his eyes well with tears, and he scooped his son up. The nurse left the room as quickly as she came in, departing with a quick, “He did great, take your time and head to check out when you’re done.” Murphy nodded slightly to her and then devoted all of his attention to the screaming infant in his arms. He shushed and rocked and patted, but Declan continued to scream and Murphy felt like the world’s worst parent.

“It’s okay, Declan, Daddy’s here,” Murphy soothed, “It’s going to be okay, I promise.” Hearing Declan cry in what was obviously a cry of discomfort was like a knife to Murphy’s heart, and he pressed the baby closer to his chest. It wasn’t until Murphy started singing an off-key version of  _ Twinkle Twinkle Little Star _ that Declan finally started to relax, his screams quieting into whimpers. 

As promised, Murphy called Emori as soon as he got Declan settled in the car.

“How is he?” Emori asked in a slightly breathless voice.

“Better than I am, that’s for sure,” Murphy responded with a snort, “I mean, he cried but I definitely shed a few tears as well. That stays between us though, got it?”

Emori let out a laugh, sounding decidedly more calm than when she had first called, “What? You afraid someone will know you have a heart?”

“Don’t you have work to do?” Murphy said, feigning annoyance.

“You’re in luck,” Emori laughed, “I actually do have a lot to do. Text me when you get home and let me know how he does. I’ll see you both tonight. I love you.”

“Love you too,” Murphy told her, “I hope the rest of your day goes well.”

“Hi, Mr. Murphy!” Maya called out when Murphy walked into the classroom to pick Declan up one afternoon. 

“Just Murphy is fine,” he told her, as he had told her every day since he had been picking Declan up, “how was his day?”

“Oh he had a great day, as usual,” Maya answered brightly, “He sat in the bouncer and watched the ceiling fan for a good part of the afternoon.”

“That sounds like fun,” Murphy answered with a small laugh. He walked over to where Declan was sitting in the bouncer by the window, and couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face, “Hey little man! How are you?”

When Declan caught sight of his father’s face, he broke out into a gummy baby smile and gurgled with excitement. That moment, Murphy felt quite sure, was his new favorite part of being a parent.

Declan’s first big holiday came when he was about ten weeks old. The Fourth of July had not traditionally been a holiday that either Murphy or Emori went crazy over, but Murphy found that parenthood brought things out in them that they never would have expected. Which is how Declan ended up decked out in a decidedly patriotic romper complete with a matching sun bonnet on his way to a holiday backyard barbeque.

As soon as Murphy walked into Clarke and Lexa’s house, Declan was unceremoniously plucked from his hands by Echo, who barely said a word other than to coo to the baby.

“Nice to see you too!” Murphy called in mock annoyance as he watched his son disappear into the house.

Emori walked in right behind Murphy, carrying dishes of food they had brought to share. “Where’s Declan?” she asked looking around the room.

Murphy pointed towards the other room into which Echo had disappeared, “That way. Echo grabbed him from me. It couldn’t be helped.”

Emori laughed and held up the dishes, “I brought in the food, where do you want everything, Clarke?”

“Just leave it here in the kitchen for now, We’ll bring everything outside once it’s time to eat. Set it down and go say hi to everyone.”

Murphy grabbed Emori’s hand after the food was on the counter and pulled her along towards the back door of the house. “Let’s go see if we can find our child.”

If seeing their friends all huddled in a circle was his first clue, the massive amount of baby talk was the second. Murphy thought about rescuing his son from the excited clutches of their friends but then decided he might as well enjoy the free babysitting, and he dragged Emori over to the drink table and then to two free seats.

“Hey, finally made it out of the land of diapers and bottles, I see,” Bellamy’s voice teased as Murphy took an empty seat. Emori had gone off to sit next to Harper to watch Jordan who was splashing in a tiny plastic kiddie pool.

“Yes, life is finally starting to get a little more normal,” Murphy answered as he took a sip of his beer. “It’s good to see everyone though, that’s for sure.”

“I remember those days,” Monty said with a laugh from the other side of the table, “Feels like one endless diaper changing, burping, feeding extravaganza. And then suddenly they start becoming a little more independent and it’s the best thing ever.”

Murphy nodded in agreement, “I’m definitely not complaining about the better sleeping patterns, that’s for sure. There is no tired like having a newborn tired.”

Monty groaned, “Yeah, that’s my number one reason for not wanting another one just yet. I don’t know if my sleep has recovered from Jordan.”

“You guys really suck at selling parenthood, you know that?” Bellamy deadpanned.

Murphy smiled, “It’s one of those things you can’t understand until you’re in the thick of it.”

“I’ll take your word for it, and I’ll sleep like a...well like a person who doesn’t have a baby sleeps.”

When the call that the food was ready rang out, Murphy got up and made his way to where Declan was still being passed around. After a little more convincing than even he expected, Echo handed Declan back over and Murphy made his way to the table that had been set out for everyone to eat at. Emori had saved a seat for him, and he sat down, cradling Declan to his chest. 

As the food was passed around and everyone started talking over each other, Murphy placed a kiss on Declan’s head and leaned back in his chair. He had missed getting together with all of their friends, and he was thrilled that Declan was getting older and it would be easier coming to get togethers now.

Jordan squealed from his highchair at the head of the table, and Murphy laughed along with everyone else.

“How is Declan doing?” Raven asked as she passed a platter to Echo. Raven and Anya had gotten to the barbeque late, and while Murphy and Raven had what they considered a “friendly antagonistic” relationship, he always enjoyed seeing her at functions.

“He’s been great,” Emori answered, reaching over to caress Declan’s cheek slightly, “he had his two month checkout a few weeks ago, which included all the shots.”

“Oh man,” Harper said with sympathy, “did you cry? I definitely cried.”

“John took him,” Emori said, “I had to work that day.”

“You lucked out then,” Harper said with a shudder, “I hate vaccination appointments.”

“So I guess the question now is, did you cry Murphy?”

Murphy answered “No,” immediately, at the same time that Emori laughed, “Oh he definitely did.”

The whole table erupted in laughter, and Murphy turned to Emori scandalized, “Way to have my back. I won’t forget that.”

“I’m so scared,” Emori answered with a laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beyond grateful, as always, for northernxstories. Everyone should be so fortunate to have such an amazing friend and writing buddy.
> 
> I hope everyone enjoys!


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